Self-Kindness Sits Between Self-Esteem and Anxiety

What the research found

Georgia Niolaki and colleagues surveyed 100 adults with dyslexia. Seventy-eight had a formal diagnosis; twenty-two identified themselves. The group was recruited through the British Dyslexia Association, local dyslexia groups, and social media. It skewed female (69 of 100) and was culturally homogeneous: 82 per cent White, 86 per cent with English as a first language. Ages spanned 18 to 65 and older.

Each person completed four questionnaires. One measured self-esteem (the Rosenberg scale). One measured self-efficacy, a person’s belief in their own capability. One measured anxiety (the State-Trait Anxiety Inventory). The last measured self-compassion, meaning how kindly a person treats themselves when things go wrong.

Two numbers stand out on their own. The average self-esteem score was 14.37. On this scale, anything from 0 to 14 counts as low, so the group sat right at the bottom edge of the normal range. The average anxiety score was 104.07. On its scale, 100 and above is labelled “high anxiety with clinical concerns”. In plain terms: this sample of dyslexic adults reported low self-esteem and anxiety high enough to worry a clinician. That is a description of a group, not a diagnosis of any one person, but it is a striking pattern.

The variables moved together tightly. Self-esteem and anxiety were strongly and inversely related (r = -0.78): the higher one, the lower the other. Self-compassion tracked with both, positively with self-esteem (r = 0.76) and negatively with anxiety (r = -0.73). These are correlations, so they tell us things vary in step, not why.

The central question was whether self-compassion helps explain the link between self-esteem and anxiety. The authors tested this as a mediation: does low self-esteem relate to higher anxiety partly through a person being harder on themselves? The answer was yes. The indirect effect through self-compassion was significant (beta = -0.24, 95 per cent confidence interval -0.42 to -0.09). A parallel path ran from self-efficacy to anxiety through self-compassion, with an identical indirect effect (beta = -0.24). In both cases, self-compassion carried part of the relationship.

It is worth being precise about what “mediated” means here. It does not mean self-compassion caused anything. It means that, statistically, the gap between self-esteem and anxiety narrows once you account for how kindly people treat themselves. Self-compassion is a plausible middle link. The study cannot confirm it is the true mechanism.

What it means for you and your child

This is one study of adults, not children, and its design is correlational. The authors say so plainly: “the design is correlational, so one cannot claim causal associations.” That single sentence should shape how you read everything else. Nothing here shows that building self-compassion lowers anxiety. It shows the three things travel together, and that self-compassion sits statistically between the other two. Read as cause and effect, it would be overread.

Keep the sample in mind too. These were 100 mostly White, mostly female, English-speaking adults who volunteered, many through a dyslexia charity. People who join such groups may not resemble a quiet child struggling in a mainstream classroom. The authors also note that no participant used the study’s read-aloud option, which suggests reading difficulties in this group were not severe. Your child may differ on every one of these points. A finding from this sample is a lead, not a verdict about them.

There is also a chicken-and-egg problem the authors flag directly: “it is unknown how much of the measured emotional outcomes are directly caused by the experiences with dyslexia.” Low self-esteem and anxiety may follow years of struggle at school. They may also have other roots. This study cannot separate the two, and neither should we pretend to.

With those cautions in place, the honest takeaway is modest and useful. In dyslexic adults, emotional strain is common and can be considerable, and how a person treats themselves in the face of difficulty is closely bound up with that strain. For a parent, the practical inference is not a programme or a technique. It is attention. If your child has dyslexia, the reading is only half the picture. How they talk to themselves after a hard day, whether they call themselves stupid or slow, whether a setback becomes a verdict on their worth, is worth noticing. This study cannot promise that softening that inner voice will lower anxiety. It does suggest the inner voice is part of the same picture.

Practically, that points toward the ordinary things: naming effort rather than results, treating a bad spelling test as an event rather than an identity, and taking anxiety seriously enough to seek proper support if it is persistent. Those are sensible regardless of what any single study finds. What this paper adds is a careful, numbered reason to believe self-kindness belongs in the conversation, alongside, and not instead of, the reading support itself. One study rarely settles a question. This one asks a good one, and answers it with appropriate restraint.